The Wind Down

Written by Deyanira Villalta

“The Wind Down” is an expression I use to describe the time or activity I set aside just for me. You may be familiar with the saying, “I’m winding down,” perhaps you’ve said it. Typically, the announcement comes at the end of the day or an extended, exhaustive activity, like hockey practice. In the past year, I have done several things to wind down from a trying day. The usual suspects like the radio or movie play in the background while I prep for the next day. Increasingly, however, the activities I set aside reflect me winding down from an exhaustively passionate and lousy relationship.

Photo Credit: (c)deyanira.

Lately, I listen to the same playlist while I work. It’s a healthy mix of music, but most notable for the melodic love songs I once assigned to that relationship. I went months without listening to them. Too much psych pain associated. I hear with the knowledge they once meant something and the understanding they are merely lyrics and melodies. The attachment is gone.

This month on the 19th it will be one year since I got away from a dangerous man. Not without scrapes and bruises - but alive. I can write and publish these words without shame. I can write and post these words aware you read them. This is the “getting over” part your friends and family tell you about when your heart breaks. This is the tail end of the long journey we must all travel to successfully transition from a relationship with another person to a relationship back with ourselves. 

I recognize I took the long (and personal) route to tell you about the importance of winding down from the trauma we experience. Emotionally or physically, the toll is the same. Prolonged stress in the form of anxiety over deadlines, promotions, making ends meet, and taking care of others will eventually drain you of life. Without taking time for yourself to absorb the quiet, to participate in a relaxing activity such as reading, painting, or bird watching. We run the risk of shortening our lifespan. 

Finding resources to alleviate every-day stress is at your fingertips. Thanks to the power of search engines, the query “how to wind down after a long day” proves fruitful. Not all things will work for everyone. Try different activities, different fragrances, and colors. Spend time getting to know what makes you happy, in its purest form.

One search result mentions setting the atmosphere. I circle back to my playlist, to the lyrics and melodies that set the tone and mood for the day. When the anxiety of a tumultuous relationship no longer exists, (overbearing boss, hostile co-workers, or sibling rivalries) there is room for other emotions and experiences. This is the place of change and transformation.

// Dear reader, how do you wind down? What do you do to gather your strength, to rest your mind, and ease yourself into another day?